Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize