it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Randomize
