There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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