I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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