I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
