all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
