id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
