There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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