Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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