i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
