@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
