I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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