It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
