So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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