Where did you get a picture of my penis
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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