I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
