some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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