you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
