So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
