he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
