wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
