I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
