i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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