i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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