I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
