Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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