Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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