i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
