can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
