i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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