yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
