oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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