I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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