Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
