My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my sisters under your porch take her home
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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