you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
