plz talk dirty to me
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
