babies were throwing up all over the place
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
