im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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