somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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