So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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