If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i out mim tonsoeep
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