You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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