wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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