i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We are all done wearing pants today
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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