probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
