Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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