What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
