I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
