none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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