We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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