Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Houston, we have a blender
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
